2015-05-16T00:00:08Z zacts: I'm much more confortable in my own zone and space 2015-05-16T00:00:16Z zacts: vraid: lol 2015-05-16T00:00:22Z zacts: that's kind of hilarious 2015-05-16T00:00:54Z Pixel_Outlaw: Do either of you guys live in the US? 2015-05-16T00:00:57Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: yeah I'm kind of that way too and with studying 2015-05-16T00:01:08Z zacts: but I don't like people seeing my terminal window too much either 2015-05-16T00:01:15Z vraid: Pixel_Outlaw: not me. 2015-05-16T00:01:21Z zacts: (at least I'm not totally alone in being an introvert like this) 2015-05-16T00:01:30Z Pixel_Outlaw: I was in an airport and booted into a virtual terminal to do some programming and I had men in suits and ties following me all around. 2015-05-16T00:01:41Z vraid: yikes 2015-05-16T00:01:50Z zacts: although, I have no problem chatting in person with close friends and things, but I hate public vocal speaking in front of groups of people 2015-05-16T00:01:50Z Pixel_Outlaw: I was doing one of the virtual terminal sessions on the laptop, all that black and text spooked em I think. 2015-05-16T00:01:53Z mumptai quit (Remote host closed the connection) 2015-05-16T00:02:29Z zacts: I can't even perform music in front of people at music recitals, the last one I had the shivvers so bad my hands couldn't physically play my instrument, and I had to end my song early 2015-05-16T00:02:47Z Pixel_Outlaw: what do you play? 2015-05-16T00:03:00Z vraid: zacts: it's pretty common. it just seems like everyone else is different because most people you meet in public are the ones who really like being out in public. :) 2015-05-16T00:03:01Z zacts: I like playing music in practice combos / jam with friends, but not a performance setting 2015-05-16T00:03:05Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: piano 2015-05-16T00:03:14Z zacts: vraid: heh, true 2015-05-16T00:03:33Z Pixel_Outlaw: It really depends. Some days I'm fine other days I get nervous. 2015-05-16T00:03:39Z zacts: especially solo piano performances, I suck 2015-05-16T00:03:46Z zacts: I can sort of handle group performances 2015-05-16T00:04:06Z zacts: I just won't perform solo piano ever again 2015-05-16T00:04:11Z vraid: it's easier if you can lower your expectations of yourself 2015-05-16T00:04:18Z zacts: unless I find a way to get over my shyness 2015-05-16T00:04:19Z Pixel_Outlaw: Just get a player piano and pretend! 2015-05-16T00:04:36Z Pixel_Outlaw: heh 2015-05-16T00:04:41Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: lol, it's simpler to overdub vocals than piano, although digital keyboards could work 2015-05-16T00:04:51Z vraid: if you assume that your performance will be bad and are fine with it, it will be easier 2015-05-16T00:05:10Z zacts: vraid: I feel it's more like people are invading in my mind and feelings than self expectations of myself 2015-05-16T00:06:06Z dmiles_afk quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) 2015-05-16T00:06:13Z Pixel_Outlaw: You don't know how they'll react maybe... 2015-05-16T00:06:16Z zacts: It's kind of like expressing my internal self / interpretations of music / etc... that are so personal 2015-05-16T00:06:18Z zacts: yeah kind of 2015-05-16T00:06:26Z vraid: ah, i know what you mean. i used to be more like that until i realised people don't care about your mistakes nearly as much as you think 2015-05-16T00:06:32Z zacts: it's like here I am, and will they accept that 2015-05-16T00:06:44Z zacts: vraid: yes my new favorite book cover, let me link it 2015-05-16T00:07:03Z Pixel_Outlaw: I think it is a trait of the programmer mind. We tend to expect perfection because our syntax parsers do. 2015-05-16T00:07:06Z zacts: http://www.amazon.com/Universe-Doesnt-Give-Flying-About-ebook/dp/B005OMBTKY 2015-05-16T00:07:06Z rudybot: http://eensy.teensy.info/cFT505pViI 2015-05-16T00:07:14Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: heh yeah 2015-05-16T00:07:23Z vraid: haha, exactly 2015-05-16T00:07:36Z zacts: it's actually an entertaining read too 2015-05-16T00:07:36Z Pixel_Outlaw: A wonderful inspirational there for the whole family. 2015-05-16T00:07:40Z zacts: it's free as a kindle book 2015-05-16T00:07:45Z vraid: though even if you "know" that it's that way, it can take years to change feelings 2015-05-16T00:07:53Z Pixel_Outlaw: If your family knows the sailors prayer which consists of 99 profanities with an "amen" at the end. 2015-05-16T00:07:58Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: it's been the most helpful self-help book I've found 2015-05-16T00:08:01Z zacts: and I just found it last night 2015-05-16T00:08:28Z zacts: vraid: yes, overcoming your own psychological conditioning can be difficult 2015-05-16T00:08:38Z zacts: (I'm guessing even at the physical neurological level) 2015-05-16T00:09:03Z Pixel_Outlaw: I'm always nervous but usually after the first 5 minutes I'm fine. 2015-05-16T00:09:07Z zacts: (I wonder if there are physcial neruological reasons for some of this psychology, but now it's getting kind of philosophical and outside my area of knowledge) 2015-05-16T00:09:29Z vraid: zacts: you have to literally rewire your brain 2015-05-16T00:09:40Z zacts: Pixel_Outlaw: dude, my last attempt at a solo piano piece (bach, and a jazz ballad) man I physically couldn't get my hand to play from shivvering 2015-05-16T00:09:56Z zacts: also, when there are ladies I'm attracted to around watching that makes me shy too 2015-05-16T00:10:23Z zacts: and that day, to be fair, there was a lady I had a thing for that was watching 2015-05-16T00:10:25Z vraid: it gets easier after you mess up a few times and realise that it doesn't matter! 2015-05-16T00:10:26Z Pixel_Outlaw: Unfortunately sometimes just thinking that you have a mental problem can make you feel the effects worse. 2015-05-16T00:10:42Z zacts: vraid: this lady was a classical piano performance graduate 2015-05-16T00:10:51Z Pixel_Outlaw: I've had panic attacks but always been able to internalize them. I think it comes from lack of sleep. 2015-05-16T00:11:28Z zacts: vraid: but yes, mentally my mind groks this, but physically I still get shy 2015-05-16T00:11:34Z zacts: it's just the way it is for now... 2015-05-16T00:11:37Z vraid: i totally know the feeling 2015-05-16T00:11:46Z zacts: that's so facinating from a psychological standpoint 2015-05-16T00:12:02Z zacts: how is it that you can grok and internalize why being shy is invalid logic 2015-05-16T00:12:06Z zacts: yet you still get shy 2015-05-16T00:12:13Z zacts: fascinating 2015-05-16T00:12:14Z zacts: * 2015-05-16T00:12:20Z vraid: but stay aware of it and work on it, and you can change your wired reactions 2015-05-16T00:12:37Z zacts: there must be some physical / nerological / biological reason for this 2015-05-16T00:12:42Z zacts: vraid: yeah 2015-05-16T00:12:55Z zacts: neuro 2015-05-16T00:12:58Z vraid: we're more emotional than most like to admit 2015-05-16T00:13:02Z zacts: my keyboard is sticking I think on a few letters 2015-05-16T00:13:11Z zacts: anyway, heading home from where I'm at 2015-05-16T00:13:15Z Pixel_Outlaw: I wonder if exposure to your fear in the worst way would suddenly make lesser situations easier? 2015-05-16T00:13:23Z vraid: and the emotions are wired through neurons, which don't change over night 2015-05-16T00:13:57Z vraid: Pixel_Outlaw: if you are ready to face it, and feel that the end result wasn't as bad as you expected, then it can 2015-05-16T00:14:19Z vraid: but otherwise you might just self-reinforce the feeling that it was terrible 2015-05-16T00:14:27Z Pixel_Outlaw: yep 2015-05-16T00:16:33Z vraid: paranoid people are really hard to help for that reason; they don't believe that anyone has their best interest in mind 2015-05-16T00:17:20Z joneshf-laptop joined #scheme 2015-05-16T00:34:58Z dmiles_afk joined #scheme 2015-05-16T00:42:29Z pnkfelix quit (Quit: rcirc on GNU Emacs 24.5.1) 2015-05-16T00:43:03Z pnpuff joined #scheme 2015-05-16T00:43:30Z pnpuff quit (Client Quit) 2015-05-16T00:54:37Z dmiles_afk quit 2015-05-16T01:12:40Z itissid joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:16:21Z enitiz joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:16:37Z enitiz_ joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:20:02Z enitiz_ quit (Client Quit) 2015-05-16T01:20:09Z enitiz quit (Client Quit) 2015-05-16T01:24:26Z aap_ joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:28:06Z aap quit (Ping timeout: 272 seconds) 2015-05-16T01:33:29Z oleo_ joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:35:27Z oleo quit (Ping timeout: 256 seconds) 2015-05-16T01:39:15Z daviid quit (Ping timeout: 276 seconds) 2015-05-16T01:46:39Z jlongster joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:59:44Z grant joined #scheme 2015-05-16T01:59:50Z grant is now known as Guest68839 2015-05-16T02:02:21Z Guest68839 is now known as {}grant 2015-05-16T02:07:43Z ArneBab joined #scheme 2015-05-16T02:10:46Z ArneBab_ quit (Ping timeout: 252 seconds) 2015-05-16T02:14:45Z jao joined #scheme 2015-05-16T02:15:41Z joneshf-laptop quit (Quit: Leaving) 2015-05-16T02:15:59Z joneshf-laptop joined #scheme 2015-05-16T02:21:07Z badkins_ quit 2015-05-16T02:25:06Z jlongster quit (Ping timeout: 272 seconds) 2015-05-16T02:32:18Z jlongster joined #scheme 2015-05-16T02:32:46Z zacts quit (Quit: ERC Version 5.3 (IRC client for Emacs)) 2015-05-16T02:41:56Z {}grant quit (Ping timeout: 252 seconds) 2015-05-16T02:45:22Z Pixel_Outlaw: Guys, the FUTURE of Internet security is here today! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sgbRbYlojm8 2015-05-16T02:49:16Z sdothum quit (Quit: ZNC - 1.6.0 - http://znc.in) 2015-05-16T02:52:14Z jlongster quit (Ping timeout: 246 seconds) 2015-05-16T02:54:23Z jlongster joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:05:12Z dmiles_afk joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:05:59Z thinkpad_ joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:08:48Z thinkpad quit (Ping timeout: 272 seconds) 2015-05-16T03:11:20Z dmiles_afk is now known as dmiles 2015-05-16T03:11:22Z excelsior joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:12:21Z thinkpad_ quit (Ping timeout: 256 seconds) 2015-05-16T03:14:14Z adu joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:15:19Z adu quit (Client Quit) 2015-05-16T03:29:35Z Pixel_Outlaw quit (Quit: Leaving) 2015-05-16T03:35:47Z frkout joined #scheme 2015-05-16T03:50:14Z kilimanjaro joined #scheme 2015-05-16T04:02:19Z jlongster quit (Ping timeout: 245 seconds) 2015-05-16T04:06:24Z sethalves quit (Quit: Leaving.) 2015-05-16T04:14:56Z frkout quit (Remote host closed the connection) 2015-05-16T04:18:24Z joneshf-laptop quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) 2015-05-16T04:18:54Z joneshf-laptop joined #scheme 2015-05-16T04:28:45Z itissid1 joined #scheme 2015-05-16T04:28:46Z itissid quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) 2015-05-16T04:33:53Z itissid joined #scheme 2015-05-16T04:34:04Z sethalves joined #scheme 2015-05-16T04:34:33Z itissid1 quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds) 2015-05-16T04:37:41Z jao quit (Ping timeout: 250 seconds) 2015-05-16T04:53:27Z itissid quit (Quit: Leaving.) 2015-05-16T05:03:32Z daviid joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:03:59Z dmiles quit (Ping timeout: 245 seconds) 2015-05-16T05:08:38Z dmiles_afk joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:08:48Z dmiles_afk is now known as dmiles 2015-05-16T05:13:41Z haasn: My greatest fear is being forced to write Java, and so far being exposed to that has not seemed to make it any better 2015-05-16T05:21:34Z daviid: haasn: if that is the case you can offer to write clojure instead, maybe... 2015-05-16T05:22:39Z kilimanjaro quit (Ping timeout: 244 seconds) 2015-05-16T05:23:13Z dmiles quit (Ping timeout: 264 seconds) 2015-05-16T05:24:04Z haasn: daviid: Nope, stupid university course 2015-05-16T05:24:23Z haasn: I already offered to write C#.NET, and my tutor gladly accepted but he's technically breaking their rules in doing so 2015-05-16T05:24:31Z daviid: ah, stupid indeed! http://clojure.org/ 2015-05-16T05:24:46Z haasn: So I'm at his mercy here, here's hoping they don't find out 2015-05-16T05:25:24Z frkout joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:25:34Z daviid: but i'd offer clojure instead [of C#] 2015-05-16T05:27:25Z kilimanjaro joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:27:44Z kilimanjaro quit (Changing host) 2015-05-16T05:27:44Z kilimanjaro joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:29:24Z dmiles_afk joined #scheme 2015-05-16T05:30:06Z frkout quit (Ping timeout: 258 seconds)